Tag Archives: identity

The in-betweeners

Something strange happens to me. I go to this place, the closet in my head, where I can’t read or write or even watch television the most passive of things to do. I feel restless and uninterested and skim over blogs in freshly-pressed desperate to feel a prick of the old interest I have felt before. The only time I am happy is in my little garden where in a deep well of Indian summer heat, sunflowers are blooming a hot, glad yellow. When I look over at them from the living room, I feel a prick of interest, of life, perhaps even passion. That warm yellow is life itself and this colour that bees adore leaks into the dark closet where I have gone, it stops me from deadening away inside. Life is if anything feeling interested in things, not this hiding away and curling up in corners far from a world in which you feel alien. image
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The Quantum identity

2777236384_875ccd9189_oIdentities are stubbornly quantum and resistant to definition. We think ourselves into being one day as one thing, and another day seek to be something else entirely. This process repeats itself in perpetuity. Trying to build a solid edifice out of your identity is well-nigh impossible, as the bricks of its structure are really quantum bubbles jumping all over the place, weirdly etherous. It is hard to strike a balance between an identity’s simultaneous solid and vapour states.
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